Almost Fatal: A Short Play

A new short drama about a warrior

Originally written as part of Freestyle Repertory Theatre and Synergy Theater’s collaborative on-going online production of Write Away! (or a rehearsal thereof or other exercise based on it… can’t remember now), the show where 5 playwrights each write a new play in 45 minutes based on audience suggestions, then perform the plays together 10 minutes after that.

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(Lights up on LILY and SID in their front room as SID prepares to leave.) 

LILY: Don’t die this time. 

SID: I won’t. 

LILY: Yeah, but you always say that.  

SID: Right, and how many times have I died? 

LILY: At least 3. Maybe 4. 

SID: Out of probably 15 adventures, so that’s not too bad. 

LILY: Are you kidding me?? I have literally planned funeral after funeral, and every time it’s terrifying! I can’t stand it anymore. 

SID (Smiling): But I do always come back. 

LILY: And thank goodness for those fairies, and the death magician, and the random Norse god who showed up, and the sudden realization that your mother was a demi-god, but you’ve used up the last of your quarter-immortality. Sure, there might be some miracle again, but if you think I’m gonna stand around and count on that you are deathly mistaken. 

SID: What are you saying? 

LILY: I’m saying you need to be more careful. I can’t watch you die all over again.  

SID: I am careful. 

LILY: Not careful enough.  

SID: What would you have me do? There are people who need my help, I can’t just abandon them. 

LILY: You’ve helped enough people. You spent 20 years as a private detective, reuniting loved ones, saving kidnapping victims, saving lives! You didn’t sign up to fight the dark mystical forces of the universe.  

SID: I signed up to help people in need. I can’t give up on people just because they’re in bigger trouble than I ever imagined before. 

LILY: But what about your life? When do you get to take care of yourself? 

SID: What, you mean, like retiring? 

LILY: Sure.  

SID: I never thought about retiring. It sounds… less than exceptional. 

LILY: Oh, forgive me, I don’t know how to appeal to the part of you that needs the approval of the gods. But maybe I can reach the part of you that needs love. That needs me. When does it get to just be you and me? 

SID: Lily, I… I don’t know what to say.  

LILY: Do you love me? 

SID: You know I do. 

LILY: Then don’t go.  

SID: Loki created a monster that is going to rip through the very fabric of our world. You can’t expect me to just sit back and watch.  

LILY: Can’t somebody else take care of it? 

SID: Who? Thor is imprisoned in Asgard, Odin is under Loki’s thrall. None of the other gods are willing to stand up and fight for the humans. Loki’s brainwashed them all. I’m the closest this world has to hero. I have to fight.  

LILY: But you don’t have any powers Sid! You’re just a man.  

SID: Even so, I’ve done so much already. I can’t back down now. Not when the world needs me most. 

LILY: But I need you too. 

SID: And I will be here— 

LILY: No, you won’t! 

SID: Lily, I always come back, you know that. 

LILY: That doesn’t matter if you’re always running off somewhere. 

SID: But— 

LILY: NO. This doesn’t work just like any day job— 

SID: I’m well aware— 

LILY: This isn’t the type of job where I get you back home every night. Ugh! You’re grandmother told me I was making a mistake.  

SID: What on earth does she mean by that? 

LILY: She saw how your grandfather, who we now know apparently was a freaking god- how he lived for revenge and fights, and she could see the same types of obsession in you. She told me it took her about 40 years to finally calm him down and live in peace by the sea, and she loved him dearly, but it took so much out of her. She had to raise the children practically all by herself, and work a job at the same time cause it’s not like being a Norse god really gets you the bucks around here, and it exhausted her. She had dreams too, I’m sure. Dreams of, I don’t know, being an artist, or heck just having a garden. And she couldn’t do any of it because while she wasn’t taking care of a kid she was fretting about you, worrying if you were gonna come home, furious at all these times when she alone has been informed the world might end and you aren’t even there to hold hands with! 

SID: Me? 

LILY: Your grandfather.  

SID: Lily, do you regret marrying me? 

LILY: I love you so much, and I want to be with you. But, for that to happen, you have to actually be with me. 

SID: I don’t know what to do, Lily. Do you want me to let the world end? 

LILY: I… I don’t know.  

SID: You can’t be serious.  

LILY: I don’t know! I don’t know what to do either.  

SID: I can’t stop what I’m doing. It means too much.  

LILY: I know. 

SID: Can you live with that? 

LILY:I don’t know.  

(Pause.) 

LILY (CON’T): I don’t know if I can do this anymore Sid. 

SID: Wow.  

(Beat.) 

LILY: Are you okay? 

SID: I’m about to go risk my life to try, what frankly is, a longshot at saving the world from destruction, and before I do that, my wife tells me she can’t be with me anymore. No, I’m not okay. 

LILY: I’m sorry, it’s just— 

SID: No, I’m sorry, wait just a second. When you proposed to me on our hill, after we sat for hours gazing at the whole city as it lay before us, you told me how amazing it was that hundreds of those people down there would be safe and happy that night because of me, and I probably didn’t cross their minds once. “I don’t blame them,” you said, “because that’s what heroes are for. They’re there to keep people safe whether they get remembered for it or not.” And you saw into me to see how lonely that must be. You kissed me and told me that no matter what anyone else remembered, you would remember me enough for all of them. You loved me for my passion. 

LILY: I know. I remember it like it was yesterday. When you talk about us like that, it’s like our relationship was just beginning again. And its beautiful. But it hurts. I didn’t know how much this all would hurt.  

SID: You’re really doing this? 

LILY: I’m sorry, Sid. If you go out there tonight, I’m not going to be here when you get back.  

SID: If I don’t go out there, we’ll never see a tomorrow.  

LILY: Maybe we will. Maybe there will be a miracle.  

SID: There will be a miracle. I’m the one who makes the miracle. 

(SID exits.) 

END OF PLAY